Mungkin aku bisa bercinta dengan kamu
Kendati kata kata mu selalu
Menusuk jantung melukai ku

Mungkin ku mau memaafkan mu kembali
Demi cinta yang ada di hatiku
Meloloskan mu dari kata pisah

Mungkin sang fajar dan sayap-sayap burung patah
Menyaksikan kita berseteru
Slalu tak pernah damai

Mungkin cintaku terlalu kuat dan menutupi
Jiwa yang dendam akan kerasmu
Sehingga kita bersama mungkin

p.s: I miss the feeling of the very first moment I fall for you.

Can falling in love contain the same feeling as when a person has already love someone? I'm missing those days badly.

♥

THE UGLY TRUTH!



Railee, you've been an incredible bF.
I cant deny that fact. Well, I'm smiling right now dear Bf. However, after everything that has been happening around us.


Eversince the day I started joining Tarian.
Eversince I moved to my other house.
Eversince it's hard for me to travel in & out of Spore.
Eversince I get worn out extremely easily.
Eversince things change.


I "thought" you would understand how hard I am handling with stuffs right now. I am always exhausted after training, which ends at 9pm everyday. I reached home at 11 plus pm to 12 plus am and have to wake up again at 4.30am. I know you're having NS and you'll be tired too. I'm too selfish, am i? But I didnt flirt around when we are together. That's the whole point. Everyone has their own business to do, but I'll always give you time when I have. If possible, I'll squeeze the time for you. I couldnt make it sometimes because of dance and family. It's not as if I did anything wrong. Even when you're in BMT, I didnt flirt around like you. It's just my nature, maybe that's my weaknesses. The funny thing is this is extremely ridiculous, you know? How can you flirt around when I didnt? Why cant you just be matured? Why cant you be patience for me when I can wait for you even when you're in camp almost everyday. Cant you be patience? Cant you? CANT YOU?!

This isn't the first time Rylee.

I dont know what to feel right now. I hate to rant my anger here because it's in public, but I'm too weak to handle myself. I may smile and laugh, even when we fight or argue, but deep down in me, you wouldnt know how much of a suffer I'm handling. You make me feel like I'm the useless gF, not only as a gF, but everything.

Ayg dah serahkan segalanye kpd tuhan. Ayg tau, ayg tak patut serahkan ini semua kpdnya, I'm sucha loser. Everyone must have say that. Masalah nya, ayg dah penat sangat, terlalu lemah even to stand up on my own feets. Ayg dah tak tau ape lagi yang patut ayg buat. Ayg tk tau brape bnyk lagi ayg akan tahan ini. I dont know what I should do right now. I'm mad at myself for staying in malaysia. I wish I can run from home some times. I just need a time for my own. I want to escape from everything as soon as possible. But, I have to think, it's life, there's no escape.

I know I will regret if I leave you.
Because I love you.

Ayg dah tk tahan lagi.
Sampai bile u nak I tahan?!

I sound extremely pathetic, I know.
But I really cant help it.

I wish I'm staying in Singapore so that I wont feel lonely. How I wish...



p.s: Should have think of you before hand?
p.s.s: Not gonna depend on anyone? Not gonna have any expectation of anyone.

♥